Before kid, husband and I wanted 2-3 little ones running around (I was partial to two, since it was just me and my brother; he grew up in a house with three boys). A boy and a girl was a definite—the third would be a wild card (IF it even happened).
Once kid was born, though, I just knew I was done. Labor was a bitch, and recovering from a c-section sucked. (Yes, I’m a baby.) In reality, I was hit with crippling postpartum depression, and everything seemed so much harder than I thought it would be. Of course, right after he was born, we also went through a bunch of life changes all at once... Husband got a new job, we moved in with my in laws as we saved to buy a house, kid was sick ALL THE TIME... It just didn’t seem to be something I was interested in repeating.
It’s funny how time seems to soften the memories. Labor wasn’t really THAT bad. Of course, it was over 15 hours, and it WAS painful, but I’m not feeling the pain now! And the c-section sure hurt for a few weeks, but I got through it. And absolutely, having a sick baby is awful, but we took care of him, and look at him now—look at US now! My little baby has grown into a beautiful, healthy toddler. My husband has a stable job that he’s been with for almost three years, and we are enjoying our first home. Every day, I look at my son in amazement, knowing I helped MAKE him. I created life. The love my husband and I have for each other has been realized in creating another being. Life is a miracle, and I want another go at it.
Now, now, settle down for a second. I’m not saying NOW. The practical side of me (and husband) knows that we need to wait a little bit longer. For one thing, the cost of two kids in day care is just astronomical. (And diapers. And formula. And clothes. And........) We are starting to save money out of each paycheck to be able to cover that. We also want to enjoy our son just a little bit longer, with just the three of us.
But the baby door has opened again, and we can’t wait to walk through it.