Fifty Shades Of Red: Supermom's Take On Christian Grey

(NOTE: MINOR SPOILERS) I’ve never seen my friend blush as much as she had while talking about her new book, “Fifty Shades of Grey”. She didn’t want to go into too much detail about it, but insisted I read it immediately.  

“Trust me,” she said.

Of course, my interest was piqued. I read a very brief synopsis of the first book, and thought, “what do I have to lose?” I downloaded the first two e-books and decided to read them over vacation.

Oh. My. Gawd.

Thumbing through the first few chapters, I was actually saddened by how poor—and repetitive—the writing was. I was even tempted to walk away from it a time or two (how many times can we say “mercurial” or “mighty fine”?! And do we really call it “mainland USA”? I know I don’t).

I hated to admit it at the time, though, the woman could tell an overall story. Well, I guess I can let my nitpicks over writing go…

As I plowed through the books, husband asked me to explain what “Fifty Shades” was all about. It’s funny how my description and thoughts on the series changed as I progressed through the trilogy.

Book one: “Oh, you know, it’s about a girl who meets a handsome, rich, effed-up control freak of a man, and they indulge in “kinky fuckery” (yes, a Grey-ism)

Book two: “yeah, so Ana and Christian (we’re on a first-name basis) are totally in love, and they still have crazy sex, but there’s tons of feeling behind it. He’s very intense but in a totally desirable way. As an aside, it’s crazy how much crap happens to them… they’re drama magnets!”

Book three: (I stupidly didn’t download this one for vacation, and had to go three days between books. Pure agony.) “you should be very lucky that Christian Grey isn’t a real person, because I’m pretty sure I’m in love with him, and want to have his babies and play in a beautiful field off the Sound... …awkward silence… but I love you, honey!”

I could really identify with Ana’s innocence and naiveté (at least, I remember what that was like), and I definitely understood Christian’s lack of confidence in his relationship (though not to that extreme). I was enthralled and exhilarated by their love story, and the intensity of their feelings.

And it wasn’t about the sex for me. Seriously! In fact, half the time I rolled my eyes (stow your twitchy palms now) through the sexy parts, because honestly, if you’ve read one Grey sex scene, you’ve read them all.

But really, Ana? You had an orgasm EVERY time? Well, this is fantasy, so I’ll let that go.

As I mention, the pair goes through A LOT over the course of three books. Break-ups, make-ups, contracts, kidnapping, crazy ex-lovers, arson… Couldn’t they have a simple night in, cuddling on the couch, without having sex? Nope, not in Grey’s world…

Let’s pretend this was real for a second (not that you haven’t considered that already): If Ana had agreed to be his submissive, I think Christian would have treated her as such, and nothing more. If she was as passive as he wanted her to be, he wouldn’t have been interested. What I learned from this: men want to be challenged. They want a woman who can think for herself, and do her own thing… manage her own life. If Ana didn’t have that need for independence, they would have never lasted. The push and pull of the relationship only fueled the passion they shared.

We “watched” them grow up, and closer to one another. Their relationship, no matter how fantastical, evolved organically. I don’t think the “Fifty Shades” sensation is sweeping the nation because of the sex; it’s because women WANT this relationship. They want a man who wants to take care of them, who is obsessed with them, who craves them. They want a man they can take care of, too. They simply want to be wanted, deeply.

Now that I’ve read all three, I find myself left wanting. Hopefully, that void will be filled in the near future.

As you may have heard, a movie is in the works, and casting is underway. People.com provided a few of their thoughts on who should play Christian and Ana:

Clockwise from top left: Max Irons, Chris Pine, Kellan Lutz, Alex Pettyfer, Ryan Gosling, Henry Cavill

Clockwise from top left: Emmy Rossum, Missy Peregrym, Shailene Woodley, Rachel Bilson, Emma Stone, Amanda Seyfried

What about Mrs. Robinson and Kate? This graphic from google gave some compelling options: 

Mrs. Robinson is perfect!!

But most of all, I would like to officially start a campaign for MY Christian Grey, Mr. Matt Bomer. Mmmmm.... 

 

 

Who would YOU want to play Christian Grey?