I don’t know why, or when it started. It’s not like I had a bad childhood, living in fear, and apologizing my way out of crappy situations.
|picture this. total OPPOSITE of my life.|
I know manners were instilled in me from early on, and I’m good about my “please” and “thank yous”. But for the life of me, I can’t figure out why “sorry” is my go-to word.
Walk by me in a narrow hall. You’ll find that instead of a simple “excuse me”, I’ll avert my eyes, give a nervous giggle, and apologize. Just about every time.
At home, husband will make an innocuous comment, and I’ll apologize for it: the weather, his so-so day at work, the grass being green... I know it frustrates him. It frustrates me even more.
And if that wasn’t bad enough, my son has started apologizing for no good reason. There are things we wish our children won’t pick up from us, and this is one of them.
“Son, sit down please”, I’ll say. “Sowwy”, he’ll say.
I try to explain that there’s no reason to be sorry, but just a few minutes later...
“It’s time to pick up your toys, love bug.” “Oh, sowwy mom.”
I’m fully aware that I need to work on myself, and my overly-apologetic ways. I can’t get caught up in what my brain perceives as empathy, or good manners, because there are other ways to express it. But now that love bug has jumped on the “sorry” train, I need to find a way to get us both reprogrammed, and soon.
Choo-choo... I want off. NOW.